Energy level is pretty low. Worried I’m not eating enough.
Food Today:
Blend Together:
1/4 cup Almond Butter
1 cup Almond Milk
1.5 bananas
2 tbl chia seeds
2 tbl whey protein
Optional: 1 tbl. Hershey’s Special Dark Syrup
* That’s not Starbucks in my cup… 😉
Food:
Exercise:
I had a great day yesterday. I worked 14hrs. (6:45am-8:45pm. Basketball Clock.) I really enjoyed everyone’s old school derby photos and the stories that went with them. Plus it was cool how everyone positively responded to my idea. By the end of the day, when Gaygan told the derby world to join us, I was beaming and felt like a total badass. I went home and told Tim all about it. And Tim was proud of me, too, and posted a picture from my actual first bout. On my drive home, I felt certain the influx of chocolate would surely end, now that I recognize my own badassery. Alas. It was not to be. 😉
Because I had a busy day, I took a walk during my lunch break. I felt naughty and kept looking over my shoulder. (At one point the school’s security golf cart did take off from the school in my direction…) Other than that… it was great! I walked about… 2-3 miles? I wanted to get my 10,000 steps in yesterday, even though I’d be working all day. Then during basketball, I walked up and down the main hallway stairs between games and at halftimes. I not only achieved 10,000+ steps, I also climbed 40 floors (a personal best, I think, and I didn’t even have to climb up to Dr. Borman’s office!)
Oh–Almond Milk for breakfast. Apparently dairy is bad for me. I have a consultation w/ Cruelie coming up, and I think she will say it is bad… Sunny seems in agreement. So I bought Almond Milk to try it out. It was fine on my cereal until I got to the bottom and tried to drink it. Okay, I succeeded in drinking it but it was all thick and creamy like whole milk and ew. EWWWWW.
Anyway, so I went to bed feeling a total badass and then I woke up all bleeeehhhhhgh again. *Sigh.* This is getting so old. It’s draining. Regulate, damn it. Maybe if I stop eating chocolate all day long. I emailed Sweets asking her to help me prioritize my derby goals. I start one and never master it then work on something new, etc. Plus Blew & I need a Cont training plan, so I’d like some help with that. Maybe prioritizing will help and I won’t feel so “what’s the point.”
I would argue the only person I see working harder than me is Sweets herself. That doesn’t mean everyone else isn’t doing it, just that’s what I see at practice. She’s also there early, but she does more than roll around aimlessly. She also focuses on drills, etc. So it’s hard feeling like I work harder than a bunch of people that just moved above me. And I got this “Most Improved” award, right? And everyone thinks that means I’m doing well. Well. Based on the current layout of things, I think it means I must have really really sucked a year ago and I’m “meh” now.
Everyone else thinks I’m a badass. Why can’t I? Or, I do… for a bit… then I just don’t see it anymore. Why is it so fleeting?
Food:
Exercise:
Those Reese’s are evil. I need to stop eating them. And the Dove Chocolates. I did great through the day and ate none. Then before practice I just stuffed my face. And I had two of Colin’s mom’s Red Velvet w/ Cream Cheese frosting cupcakes. I’d licked all of the frosting off the first one so I had to eat the cupcake bare. I needed a second to appreciate the combination of flavors. Which was divine, btw. 😉
Everyone seems to be enjoying the homework, so that’s good. Plus it’s wildly entertaining for me, so there’s that. Haha. I hope everyone does the tough part of the homework, and not just the fun part. (The tough part being something similar to my Congratulations, Menace post. Or any type of celebration of one’s own Travel Team Awesomeness. Per Bonnie D’Stroir’s advice. The fun part being: post a picture on facebook of yourself when you started playing roller derby.)
I’m not sure whose picture is my favorite so far. They are all super awesome.
My shitty derby attitude continues. A bit. I think? Rad Die gave us “work on your own stuff” time last night, and I let Sweets test out my skates while I sat out instead. I did do some pushups. (That’s why 78 instead of 50.) And I didn’t find a partner in time for another drill, so sat out then as well… I dunno. It’s just… what’s the point of busting my ass every second of every practice? It didn’t get me where I wanted, and other people who work less hard did get there. So I should be doing what they’re doing, right? Not what I’ve been doing. But that’s not the right attitude either. I think I’m just lost and confused right now, and since I’m not sure what to do…. well. Sometimes it’s easier to just sit out and take a breather here and there.
I’m hoping to get back to my old self sooner than later. Or figure out what to do if I’m not going to be busting my ass all the time. It feels weird sitting out. I don’t like it.
Food:
Exercise:
Hit up my brother’s Murderball Tourney yesterday with my husband. We met my dad, Rowdy, Eve, and Lops there. It was so fun! Matt is a fucking beast! We saw two games yesterday; his team played and won three. The first game they played against their own “B” team, so it was a bit of a blow-out. But… it was cool to watch, and I got to the one friend of Matt’s I know play, Javi. What was super cool is that while Matt is basically the best player on his team… Javi didn’t get a whole lot of play time (he’s much more impaired than Matt.) But… I got to see both play, and it’s cool that he’s Matt’s bf on the team. The second game was really close, vs. the University of Arizona (@Tuscon) Wildcats. Apparently they’d stomped Matt’s team earlier this season. Well, the Quin’s returned the favor yesterday. It was badass. They had two girls on their team and both were really good.
Then we came home, I had Bertolli and wine and passed out. Matt has two more games today, but it’s during Sunday Bloody Sunday so I’m missing. Sad day.
It was super fun, and it was extra special since my friends came! I posted it on the forum since I think Roller Derby and Murderball would draw similar crowds, and maybe we could cross advertise or something (or the Harlequinns could do a halftime show, which was an idea that came up,) but I didn’t really expect anyone to come. Then three people did! And it was super fun and we had a great time and I love ROLLERDERBY.
Oh. And Matt is dating this girl Morgan and I met her yesterday. Verdict pending.
Food:
Exercise:
I’m feeling sucky. I missed Tuesday spin b/c of basketball. I missed Thursday spin b/c of basketball. I missed Saturday spin b/c… I just didn’t go today. And I skipped my push ups and sit ups. Naughty Menace.
Balance is a goal, right? I can’t seem to figure it out. Basketball is getting in the way. I either have to skip spin or Tim time. (It doesn’t interfere w/ derby.) Last night I skipped Speed Skating for Tim time–I made him dinner before the party. It was delicious and a good decision. Then I got home at 1am and so slept in a bit instead of going to Saturday Spin. I’m feeling panicky about it, especially in light of my upcoming week:
Tomorrow–scrimmage. Monday–practice. Tuesday–basketball. Wednesday–practice. Thursday–Valentine’s Day, Friday… Speed Skating? Saturday… Spin?
I’m thinking if I go to work late Wednesday, I can hit the early morning Spin Class… and maybe feel less guilty. I dunno. Otherwise it’ll be 2+ weeks no spin class. !!! What if I don’t make it??!!
Food
Exercise:
Yep. Ate bad and didn’t exercise. It’s been a week. Guess what I’m doing today? Eating bad and not exercising. There’s this party tonight. *Sigh.* I should go. It’ll be fun. And good company. And food. While Tim is home by himself for literally the fifth night this week.
I’ll get back on the wagon Monday. Really back on the wagon. I need these jeans to keep fitting.
Food: way over yet again. fuuuuck.
Exercise:
I was exhausted at work today. Falling asleep in a 7:15am meeting, falling asleep at lunch. I left early and passed out the second I got home. Okay, that’s a lie. First I stuffed my face with not one, but two energy bites (at 270 calories a piece. yikes! better than a peanut butter cookie, I guess… I dunno.) Funny–I had been chatting w/ Die on facebook, and she teased me just as I fell into the sleep of the dead. I think she thought I was offended when I hadn’t responded. Haha. Oops.
Spin class. My legs hurt and felt like lead, but… I’m wondering if my exhaustion and overeating are the result of seasonal depression (or any kind of depression) so I figured Spin Class would make me feel better. The only exercise I’ve had since last Tuesday has been derby, which is not as… relaxing? calming? I dunno. as regular exercise. At Spin class, I’m just “Lindsay,” andI can turn my brain off and just go, you know? And when it’s over I feel that good exhaustion and a sort of relief of having let go of my stress, etc. So–despite being exhausted, I went. I *think* that was a good decision. I seem to be in a more positive mood. Tired, but positive. For now. 😉
Took a nice, super hot epsom salt bath when I got home. Mmmm… With wine, of course. Feeling pretty good, now. I do want some pie, though. (Un)Fortunately, I don’t have any. 😦 Sad day.
meanass 