Posts tagged milk

The Battles Continue: Negative Nance-hole vs. Positive Polly, Dove Dark vs. Energy Bite, Red vs. Black

Food: 2809

  • Honey Nut Cheerios w/ 1% milk, coffee, carmel macchiato sugar free creamer
  • apple, yoplait greek w/ fruit and granola.  2 clementines.
  • Turkey, Reduced Fat Swiss, Spinach, Cucumber, Mushroom and Cucumber Dill Greek Dressing on a Sun-dried Tomato & Basil tortilla with Sparkling Ice Lemon Lime and two baby energy bites
  • Spinach salad w/ almonds, strawberry, clementine, tofu and Cucumber Dill dressing
  • Natural Almond Butter, milk, banana, whey protein, chia seed and Hershey’s Special Dark smoothie/protein shake
  • Red Wine

Exercise:

  • 50 toe pushups
  • 50 situps (25 leg lifts, 25 cobras)
  • Reilly walk (short)
  • 2hr. Sweets practice
  • 1hr. scrimmage

After sitting down and writing all about being positive, I had a major Hulk Menace negativity slip.  😦  Oops.

Huge food success yesterday.  2800+ healthy calories.  I have decided to experiment with wraps, so yesterday I smashed myself a turkey-swiss spinach wrap.  I’ve never been good at rolling burritos and I always overfill my tacos.  These skills translate to wrap-ping, so I struggled and designed a cucumber-dill dressing disaster.  Oddly enough, after being refrigerated all day, it stayed together well.  And was filling.  Despite the lack of bread-stuffs.  I’m quite pleased with how it turned out, and have another for today. It kills me that 6 tortillas cost $3.59 and a loaf of bread is $1.99, though…

I brought clementines and energy bites to ward off the Dove Dark Chocolates (the stash of which Karen refilled yesterday.)  Success!  Those energy bites rock.  Remind me again why I didn’t make them the past few weeks?  I jammed on a spinach salad and a smoothie-shake (what’s the difference?) before practice yesterday.  Waaay more than enough, even for a 3hr. night.  I didn’t have a snack before scrimmage, or even afterwards.  Chia seeds keep your blood sugar regulated, and your tummy full.  Considering they were in everything I ate yesterday…  must be true.  🙂

Practice was… practice.  My backwards skating has improved tremendously the past week alone.  Misto hugely helped last Thursday.  When crossing over, she told me to keep my feet on the ground.  Aha!  I can still only do it going the correct direction, but yesterday I worked on the foot movement to cross the wrong direction and improved.  Baby steps.  At scrimmage…  well first I was pleased to have four refs.  Really.  It was such a relief seeing them all show up.  I’d have been happy with three, four was amazing! Yay.  I played… okay.  I fucked up a few times and did some good things as well.  But.  Positive Polly focuses on the things she did well, so…

  • I didn’t give up.  Jamming against a Sweets-Nona-Bijou-??? wall I pushed and pushed and fought and fought and got a high block and went to the box.  But Sweets said it wasn’t really a high block.  😀  Regardless: I didn’t give up.  I kept pushing and pushing and maybe I didn’t get through, but someday soon I will.
  • Cass jamming…  seconds on the jam clock.  I dropped back and nailed someone out of Cass’s way so she scored her points as time expired.  I’m not so good at the drop back (the clockwise “danger zone,” so to speak,) so this was pretty cool.
  • Last jam, power jam Menace.  I get out of the pack and look at the jam clock.  8 seconds to get back around and through again.  Fuuuck.  My instinct is to conserve energy, w/ 8 seconds I’m not getting around the track and back through… but I’ve seen She Who lap a pack and score in 8 seconds, so fuck it.  I sped up, got around the track, and with the help of an amazing offensive hit from Cass, scored my 5 points.  Fuck yeah!  … and that was the end of scrimmage.  😀

I’ve still got an Apex-Jumping mental block.  I think I have to skip practice tomorrow (we’re hosting a playoff basketball game.  They haven’t asked me to run the clock, perhaps due to the faux pas from Saturday… perhaps b/c they think I intuitively know to be here… not sure.) So maybe I’ll hit up Saturday Scrimmage and focus on my hops.  (My hops, my hops, my lovely lady hops?)

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The Vascillation Cont-inues…

Food:

  • Honey Nut Cheerios w/ Almond Milk, banana, coffee w/ SugarFree Caramel Macchiato creamer
  • Apple, Greek yogurt w/ fruit and granola
  • Subway turkey w/ avocado, all the veggies, no cheese, honey mustard, MOR carbonated water, Parmesan Sun Chips
  • Dove Dark Chocolates.  Hershey’s Special Dark.
  • Pork Chop w/ BBQ sauce, garlic triscuits, Crystal Light
  • 2 Diet Cokes
  • Bag of M&Ms
  • Oreos and Milk.  Real 1% milk.
  • Wine.

Exercise:

  • 50 toe pushups
  • 25 cobras, 25 v-ups
  • Lunch Walk, Stair Climb, etc.

I had a great day yesterday.  I worked 14hrs.  (6:45am-8:45pm. Basketball Clock.)  I really enjoyed everyone’s old school derby photos and the stories that went with them.  Plus it was cool how everyone positively responded to my idea.  By the end of the day, when Gaygan told the derby world to join us, I was beaming and felt like a total badass.  I went home and told Tim all about it.  And Tim was proud of me, too, and posted a picture from my actual first bout.  On my drive home, I felt certain the influx of chocolate would surely end, now that I recognize my own badassery.  Alas.  It was not to be.  😉

Because I had a busy day, I took a walk during my lunch break.  I felt naughty and kept looking over my shoulder.  (At one point the school’s security golf cart did take off from the school in my direction…)  Other than that… it was great!  I walked about…  2-3 miles?  I wanted to get my 10,000 steps in yesterday, even though I’d be working all day.  Then during basketball, I walked up and down the main hallway stairs between games and at halftimes.  I not only achieved 10,000+ steps, I also climbed 40 floors (a personal best, I think, and I didn’t even have to climb up to Dr. Borman’s office!)

Oh–Almond Milk for breakfast.  Apparently dairy is bad for me.  I have a consultation w/ Cruelie coming up, and I think she will say it is bad…  Sunny seems in agreement.  So I bought Almond Milk to try it out.  It was fine on my cereal until I got to the bottom and tried to drink it.  Okay, I succeeded in drinking it but it was all thick and creamy like whole milk and ew.  EWWWWW.

Anyway, so I went to bed feeling a total badass and then I woke up all bleeeehhhhhgh again.  *Sigh.*  This is getting so old.  It’s draining.  Regulate, damn it.  Maybe if I stop eating chocolate all day long.  I emailed Sweets asking her to help me prioritize my derby goals.  I start one and never master it then work on something new, etc.  Plus Blew & I need a Cont training plan, so I’d like some help with that.  Maybe prioritizing will help and I won’t feel so “what’s the point.”

I would argue the only person I see working harder than me is Sweets herself.  That doesn’t mean everyone else isn’t doing it, just that’s what I see at practice.  She’s also there early, but she does more than roll around aimlessly.  She also focuses on drills, etc.  So it’s hard feeling like I work harder than a bunch of people that just moved above me.  And I got this “Most Improved” award, right?  And everyone thinks that means I’m doing well.  Well.  Based on the current layout of things, I think it means I must have really really sucked a year ago and I’m “meh” now.

Everyone else thinks I’m a badass.  Why can’t I?  Or, I do… for a bit…  then I just don’t see it anymore.  Why is it so fleeting?

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Buckling Down. Again. For realz this time. No–really.

Food: 2271/ 1772  😦 

  • Turkey Sausage Sammie w/ 1% milk, coffee, sugarfree vanilla creamer
  • Apple, Yoplait Greek w/ Fruit and Granola
  • …  Two Dove Dark Chocolates.
  • …  Two mini KitKat bars…
  • Two more Dove Dark Chocolates.
  • Ham and light swiss on wheat.  Naked Green Machine (10 oz).  1% Cottage Cheese.
  • … four more Dove Dark Chocolates (Karen put them in my hand–not my fault!  Ok she put three in my hand.  They were gone before I tasted them, so I needed one more…)
  • Giant Leafy Greens salad w/ cherry tomatoes, sugar snap peas, imitation crab meat and light italian dressing with 1% milk

Exercise:

  • 1 mile walk w/ Reilly
  • Spin Class

Ugh.  I need to do some yoga.  After 9 days with virtually no exercise, my legs are tight and sore after spinning. I’m just so tired.  😦 I may yet rally.  We’ll see.  It would burn more calories which would increase my caloric intake which I (of course) exceeded.

Then again I’ve got about 500 calories worth of chocolate in there.  *Sigh*  I didn’t really try to resist them.  They are in the library now.  On my desk.  Staring at me.  Calling to me, saying “I am your favorite kind of chocolate.  Think how creamy and delicious I am.  You know you love me more than Hershey’s dark chocolate, because I am Dove Dark chocolate and I melt in your mouth.”  So then I put one in my mouth and suck to feel it melt away whist coating my tongue in its chocolate glory, dissolving to delicious nothingness.  But then I get greedy and want more chocolatey goodness so I bite into it–another wonderful sensation altogether–and chew and swallow it’s creamy glory.  Then I’m sad I didn’t let it dissolve so I try again.  Same failure.  I should give up.  (You really need to eat those things with a good Pinot Noir anyway, or it’s a complete waste.)

I commented on the hardship of chocolate accessibility on facebook today, and Dosa and Sunny are agreed to continue this TBT hell another two weeks, so I said fuck it and jumped on that bandwagon, too.  At least we’ll be miserable (and skinny bitches) together.  Rowdy I’ve noticed has responded with “likes” and amused comments, but no affirmation of another two weeks.  Piper and Newt are completely ignoring us crazies, though. (Can’t say I blame them.)  Anyway, December 15th.  We can make it.

I have to say, though, if I’m going through this misery another two weeks, Ima fucking do this shit right.  No more damn chocolate all day long.  No more cheat-kends or full cheat days.  I’m not gonna say no cheating, because that’s a recipe for disaster, but I don’t want to go all out ever.  That’s what got me off the bandwagon in the first place.  So cheat meals or cheat treats.  Maybe like one a day.  One glass of wine or one chocolate or if it’s a “cheat day,” one meal or one six pack.  No going nuts. Something like that.  We’ll see how it goes.

As I was warming up for Spin Class this evening, perusing the December Fitness Guide, looking at all the classes I might be able to attend during finals week (when we have half days at school) or during my two week break, I thought “maybe I should TBT another three weeks–til December 21!”  And about 25 minutes later when the sweat started pouring and my legs started shaking I realized that was the crazy talking.  The point is to change habits and move forward positively.  Exercising more.  Eating healthier and less.  Managing those extra “empty” calories.  I’m going longer because I don’t think I’m there yet.  I’m giving myself an extra two weeks to get there.  To remind myself what empty calories can do and that I am capable of avoiding them.

Before this TBT, I didn’t exercise outside of derby.  I won’t stop when TBT is over, and I shouldn’t.  Continuing to exercise after TBT ends doesn’t mean I should extend TBT–I shouldn’t.  I should move forward with these new habits I’ve taught myself.  After the 15th, though, I will be done with this “dieting” bullshit.  I fucking hate it.  Hate.  Loathe.  Ughhh.  But it’s good for me, and I need to learn to manage my caloric intake better.

I think that’s all for now.

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