Posts tagged party

Breaking Point

Food:

  • 2 egg muffins, coffee with sugar free caramel macchiato creamer, banana? 
  • 6 Clif Shot Bloks (2 servings)
  • beer
  • Cheesy Penne with Broccoli, white wine
  • NACHOS!!!  Red Wine.
  • Red Wine.
  • the rest of the heart chocolates
  • some dove dark chocolates
  • Probably more red wine.

Exercise:

  • 50 toe push ups
  • 50 sit ups
  • scrimmage
  • Reilly walk

So I hit my breaking point yesterday.  Which is probably a good thing, because maybe now I can finally move forward.  I’m proud of how I played yesterday.  I made lots of stupid mistakes, for which I have lots of stupid justifications.  But I played my hardest, and I only gave up when I had to (and there were a couple of times my legs were so fatigued I had to give up.)  I literally left it all on the track.  More than once.  

Yes, I had three(ish) very stupid cuts.  I’m sitting here visualizing them.  Why?  I need to focus on what I did well.  Those three cuts were the result of my body not reacting as quickly as my mind.  My legs were lead.  

Ever lit a real fire?  Like when you camp?  At the end of the night, the wood has burned and you’re left with wood coals?  The dying embers of the fire?  You blow on them and they ignite, only to burn out more thoroughly?  

That was my legs yesterday.  But I kept blowing on them and telling them to light it up again, and they did.  There were two times my legs were lead and I gave up.  My first jam and my last jam.  Even though it was physical… it was mental.

My first jam was two jams, since I went to the box.  And both jams were identical: I fought and fought and fought at the front and was stuck, stuck, stuck, until I broke through after the Fight Club jammer (first Cass, then Alpha.)  Both jammers played “eat the baby” on me.  I cut Cass.  I don’t remember what happened with Alpha.  I remember getting hit out and ending up at the back of the pack behind Queen.  I tried getting by her once or twice and couldn’t, so I gave up and rolled there for maybe 3 seconds before the jam clock expired.  Then I cried a lot.  

It was just like… I’m almost there, almost there, almost there, then I got out and was pulled back in.  Fuck.  It’s how I feel about the whole situation.  It was a physical manifestation of my mental state.  Except that I gave up at the end.  And sometimes I wonder why I don’t give up for real.  Mostly I have.  If I’m not going to get there, what am I fighting for?  And I don’t think I’m going to get there, so…  I’m lost.  Jamming the first and second jam against Fight Club–ten fresh Fight Club skaters, all after me. (And they were, since both jammers pulled an “eat the baby.”) WTF did I think would happen?  I did great.  I fought and fought and fought and made those girls work to hold me.  Ok, I never got out.  But I literally left it all on the track.  Physically, emotionally, I left it all there.  And then I went back and did it again.  And that time, I did get out, and there was no baby eating (though they tried.)  

The last jam…  I cut Cherry.  Stupid.  I was on a power jam and doing great, loving life, when I felt my legs go “FUCK YOU, MENACE!” and I went “shit.”  Mentally, I gave up.  Cherry hit me out and I cut her.  Even if the Apex is a bitch for cutting, I should know better.  I do.  I was jumping back in bounds as she was rolling back, and my legs were tired and my attempt to stay out of bounds when I saw her rolling back was ineffective.  So I went to the penalty box and proceeded to have an asthma attack.  So I took my helmet off.  For which I was scolded.  I know I’m not supposed to do that.  I’d already caused one scene Sunday, I didn’t need to cause another.  Options were: puke, pass out, or take my helmet off so I could breathe. I chose oxygen and I chose correctly.  And I put my helmet back on as soon as I could breathe.   Safety, first, right?  Even when you’re the jammer and safety means a two minute jammer penalty.  

So, yes, a dramatic Sunday.  

Saturday, I’m going to do it again.  In a public, hour long Fight Club vs. The World scrimmage, I will jam for the world.  And I won’t get out, and I won’t score, and it will be okay because I will leave it all on the track.  Except next time, I’ll leave it all on the track in a “fuck yeah, bitches!” way instead of a sobbing in the corner way.  

 

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Meh

Food:

  • honey nut cheerios w/ 1% milk, coffee, creamer
  • apple, greek yogurt w/ fruit and granola
  • parmesan herb sun chips.  apple.
  • subway 6″ turkey avocado on wheat w/ all the veggies & honey mustard.  (no cheese…) and a mor (sparkling flavored mineral water.)
  • Spicy Shrimp Noodle Bowl
  • Party food.  Wine.  Soda.

Exercise:

  • 50 push ups
  • 50 sit ups
  • Reilly Walk

I’m feeling sucky.  I missed Tuesday spin b/c of basketball.  I missed Thursday spin b/c of basketball.  I missed Saturday spin b/c…  I just didn’t go today.  And I skipped my push ups and sit ups.  Naughty Menace.

Balance is a goal, right?  I can’t seem to figure it out.  Basketball is getting in the way.  I either have to skip spin or Tim time.  (It doesn’t interfere w/ derby.)  Last night I skipped Speed Skating for Tim time–I made him dinner before the party.  It was delicious and a good decision.  Then I got home at 1am and so slept in a bit instead of going to Saturday Spin.  I’m feeling panicky about it, especially in light of my upcoming week:

Tomorrow–scrimmage.  Monday–practice.  Tuesday–basketball.  Wednesday–practice.  Thursday–Valentine’s Day, Friday…  Speed Skating?  Saturday… Spin?

I’m thinking if I go to work late Wednesday, I can hit the early morning Spin Class…  and maybe feel less guilty.  I dunno.  Otherwise it’ll be 2+ weeks no spin class.  !!!  What if I don’t make it??!!

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Train Insane or Remain the Same

Today, I woke early for Spin Class.  I was up and walking Reilly before sunrise (6:30) so that I could make my 8am class and still get to the Ale House for brunch with my derby wife (Feist E One from the Boulder County Bombers) and Alessia (her daughter.)

Spin Class.  Was.  Terrible.  I mean it was bad.  Kill Bill, naturally.  We did a five minute sprint twice, except that the second time he couldn’t tell time and it was only four minutes long.  Suri wondered why a 5 minute sprint is bad.  Pedaling as fast as you can for five minutes.  Nothing else.  First–it’s not challenging.  Second–it’s boring!  And we did it twice! Or at least Bill thinks we did it twice and that’s just as bad.  He kept messing up his timing, telling us we’d do something for a minute, then 48 seconds later telling us we were done.  The worst, though, is that he drones on and on and on about ridiculous republican bullshit forever.  We missed several intervals and over-rested today because of it.  I was super annoyed.  My usual bike was taken today, so I sat in a different one.  Conveniently there was a poll in my line of vision blocking Bill out.  Also, I couldn’t hear his droning as well.  It was sort of Charlie Brown style.  I zoned out for one of our rests/his stories, and he talked so long I got cold!  This was 45 minutes in to the class.  There was no reason for me to be cold.  Ughhh.  He was up there droning on about another instructor telling him not to waste her time–meanwhile I’m sitting there on my bike thinking I wish he wasn’t wasting mine.  Damn.  The thing that really kills me, though, is the 31 miles my bike said I’d ridden (that’s a lot–we did a lot of sprinting) and the fact that my thighs and calves hurt later in the day.  So I guess it wasn’t a total waste.  Still–I can’t wait til Tuesday.  Leslie Spin.  I miss her.

Bill has these sayings.  “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care–and I care.”  *Vomit.*  Today was: “Train Insane or Remain the Same.”  *Double Vomit.*  I think I’ll start Contenders practice with this quote on Monday.  Hahahahaha.  Yeah right.  I am starting w/ a quote, though.

Anyway, so that.

Food:

  • Honey nut cheerios w/ 1% milk
  • Energy Bite (like 2.5 servings, I think…)
  • Lamb Burger w/ fries, ranch, and beer.
  • Dips (queso, 3 bean, cottage cheese, guacamole…) pot stickers, celery salad… … potato chips…  tortilla chips…  etc.
  • more beer.
  • wine.

Lops made this delicious Celery Salad tonight–it was so sweet too.  She made healthy food because she knew some of the Contenders are on the TBT (our holiday party was tonight.)  I ❤ Lops.  And all the rest of the Cont-ies.  I had a nice night with them tonight.

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Suck on that, Cake Pops. Ha!

Screen shot 2012-12-12 at 7.06.12 AM

Food: 2331

  • Honey Nut Cheerios w/ 1% milk, banana, coffee, sugar free pumpkin spice creamer
  • Apple, Greek Yogurt w/ Granola and fruit
  • Wheat bread w/ reduced fat swiss, tuna salad (w/ greek yogurt) sammie.  … four cake pops…
  • 1% cottage cheese, banana, Protein Chewy Bar
  • Imitation Crab meat, carrots, wine

Exercise:

  • Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater, only 4041 steps.  😦  Sad Day.

Oi.  So yesterday I got to school thinking I’d have time before basketball to take Reilly for a walk.  I was wrong.  As a result, I sat on my rear most of the day and didn’t get very many steps in at all.  😦

The cake pops called to me again at lunch.  OMFG they are soooo good.  On the bright side, I did figure out what flavor they were on the fourth one yesterday–amaretto.  With coconut in white chocolate rolled in almonds.  Holy heaven on earth.

Since I thought I’d be heading home prior to the basketball games, I also didn’t pack a dinner.  Which worked out.  Probably because of the cake pops.  I spread my lunch and snacks out through the day and made it til I got home, starving.  Managed to remind myself about the cake pops and eat moderately rather than ravish the pantry.  I passed on Tim’s first offer of a glass of wine, but realized I probably wouldn’t sleep w/o it and ended up having a small glass (for me–prolly still a large glass for anyone else.)

On the bright side…  managed to shed those vacation pounds!  Bam.  Weighed in at 149.6 this morning.  Still a few tenths heavier than my lightest, but sweet!  And Sweets practice tonight and Spin Class tomorrow and Speed/Off skates training Friday and Body Pump Saturday mean I’m probably ending this thing on a positive note.  Which makes these last two weeks of hell worth it.  (This all assumes I don’t completely fuck myself over at Dane’s party Friday night.)  I may have to do a final weigh/measure in on Friday instead of Sat/Sun.   We’ll see.

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Wine, Cheese, and Cheese… and people.

Food: ####/1632*

  • Frosted Mini Wheats, 1% Milk, forgot coffee at home… 😦
  • Greek Yogurt w/ Fruit and Granola
  • Almond Butter, Honey, and Banana on wheat
  • Buttered Toast
  • Wine.  Cheese.  Cheese.  Wine.  Crackers.  Cheese.  Jam.  Cheese.  Bread.  Nom nom nom…

Exercise:

  • …  did you people miss the cheese part?  or the wine part?  no exercise yesterday.  😀

I ditched working out, ate cheese and drank wine with cool people, left the part early ( 😥 ), was in bed by 11 with my Spin Class 6:30 alarm set…  and then I woke up around 4am and said… “you know what? I think I earned a day.”  So I ditched Spin today.  Did some yoga.  Ate a huge breakfast to keep me from munching on crap during the Volleyball Tourney I’m clock-ing.  Gonna pack a lunch/snacks, too.  Then the grocery store on my way home, and hopefully I’ll take Reilly on a nice long walk.

* The # symbols stand for “way to fucking many.  WAY too fucking many.  So fucking many too many, it’s not even worth guessing, and I don’t fucking care because it was good.  Gooooood, I say!”

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Naughty, naughty this weekend.

Yeah, I cheated all weekend.  Go Mean@$$

Saturday:

Food:

  • Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage Egg Muffin w/ 1% milk
  • Luna Bar, Banana
  • Smoothie–spinach/baby greens mix, strawberries, 1/2 banana, nonfat vanilla yogurt, pom
  • CHILI & SOUP & BEER & COOKIES & Peanut Butter cereal w/ Reece’s Peanut Butter pieces Rice Crispie Treats
  • Liquor

Exercise:

  • 1hr 15 minute Spin Class
  • 2 hr Derby Scrimmage
  • 1mile Reilly walk

My Chicken Tortilla Soup WON the Chili/Soup Off!  Yay!  So exciting.  Our prize is hosting next year.  … … …

Sunday:

Food:

  • Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage Egg Muffin w/ 1% milk & 1/2 banana
  • Cliff Shot Bloks & Gatorade G2
  • Boca Burger (courtesy of Bob Loblaw–<3 that chick), Subway veggie sammie (courtesy of Assaultin’ Pepa & Doc Tuscon–<3 those two), BEER
  • Zucchini Mushroom Pasta, Beer, Wine, Liquor

Exercise:

  • Sunday Scrimmage
  • 1ish mile walk w/ Reilly

So glad so many ppl showed up today!  We played Conts vs the world for two periods, and there were a handful of FCers there so it wasn’t super overwhelming for everyone else–though there were more Conts than World’ers.  I thanked everyone for coming and letting us Conts play together (I’m not trying to be a martyr, here, I just know it’s not always super fun, and hoped everyone knowing how much we appreciated it helped w/ that.)  I enjoyed skating w/ my Conties.  I thought we did pretty well.  Our communication was better than usual, and our awareness.  We certainly have a lot to work on, but it was a good day overall.  Also, I personally played well with some girls I haven’t “connected” with in the past, so that was awesome.  I ❤ being a Cont.  We’re competitive, we’re fun, and well.  Basically we’re the shit.  I’ve never felt more welcome, more part of a team, than my first Contenders bout experience.  All the other Conts were so welcoming, supportive, and.  Well.  Just great.  I ❤ them.

Anyway, I did drink beer twice this weekend.  I ate a shit ton of crap yesterday and loved every minute of it.  Today, I chose a second beer drinking cheat day because Q is leaving, and she invited me over, I love Q, and I will be missing her party Friday b/c I am bouting DRD Saturday (OMFG THAT IS THIS WEEK????!!!!???!)  I don’t feel badly.  I’m doing TBT to improve my derby and my endurance has already improved tremendously.  Consider this a “one month in” celebration.  Cheers to me.  I’m drinking and eating shit this weekend.  But… I still exercised a lot (Spin Sat, plus Scrimmage Sat and Sun.)  And I still ate well except when I was at social events.  So.  Maybe a naughty weekend, but I don’t feel bad.

(Here comes the moment where Frida sees and yells at me…  I may soon feel bad… maybe she won’t read this one…)

 

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