Posts tagged beer

Breaking Point


  • 2 egg muffins, coffee with sugar free caramel macchiato creamer, banana? 
  • 6 Clif Shot Bloks (2 servings)
  • beer
  • Cheesy Penne with Broccoli, white wine
  • NACHOS!!!  Red Wine.
  • Red Wine.
  • the rest of the heart chocolates
  • some dove dark chocolates
  • Probably more red wine.


  • 50 toe push ups
  • 50 sit ups
  • scrimmage
  • Reilly walk

So I hit my breaking point yesterday.  Which is probably a good thing, because maybe now I can finally move forward.  I’m proud of how I played yesterday.  I made lots of stupid mistakes, for which I have lots of stupid justifications.  But I played my hardest, and I only gave up when I had to (and there were a couple of times my legs were so fatigued I had to give up.)  I literally left it all on the track.  More than once.  

Yes, I had three(ish) very stupid cuts.  I’m sitting here visualizing them.  Why?  I need to focus on what I did well.  Those three cuts were the result of my body not reacting as quickly as my mind.  My legs were lead.  

Ever lit a real fire?  Like when you camp?  At the end of the night, the wood has burned and you’re left with wood coals?  The dying embers of the fire?  You blow on them and they ignite, only to burn out more thoroughly?  

That was my legs yesterday.  But I kept blowing on them and telling them to light it up again, and they did.  There were two times my legs were lead and I gave up.  My first jam and my last jam.  Even though it was physical… it was mental.

My first jam was two jams, since I went to the box.  And both jams were identical: I fought and fought and fought at the front and was stuck, stuck, stuck, until I broke through after the Fight Club jammer (first Cass, then Alpha.)  Both jammers played “eat the baby” on me.  I cut Cass.  I don’t remember what happened with Alpha.  I remember getting hit out and ending up at the back of the pack behind Queen.  I tried getting by her once or twice and couldn’t, so I gave up and rolled there for maybe 3 seconds before the jam clock expired.  Then I cried a lot.  

It was just like… I’m almost there, almost there, almost there, then I got out and was pulled back in.  Fuck.  It’s how I feel about the whole situation.  It was a physical manifestation of my mental state.  Except that I gave up at the end.  And sometimes I wonder why I don’t give up for real.  Mostly I have.  If I’m not going to get there, what am I fighting for?  And I don’t think I’m going to get there, so…  I’m lost.  Jamming the first and second jam against Fight Club–ten fresh Fight Club skaters, all after me. (And they were, since both jammers pulled an “eat the baby.”) WTF did I think would happen?  I did great.  I fought and fought and fought and made those girls work to hold me.  Ok, I never got out.  But I literally left it all on the track.  Physically, emotionally, I left it all there.  And then I went back and did it again.  And that time, I did get out, and there was no baby eating (though they tried.)  

The last jam…  I cut Cherry.  Stupid.  I was on a power jam and doing great, loving life, when I felt my legs go “FUCK YOU, MENACE!” and I went “shit.”  Mentally, I gave up.  Cherry hit me out and I cut her.  Even if the Apex is a bitch for cutting, I should know better.  I do.  I was jumping back in bounds as she was rolling back, and my legs were tired and my attempt to stay out of bounds when I saw her rolling back was ineffective.  So I went to the penalty box and proceeded to have an asthma attack.  So I took my helmet off.  For which I was scolded.  I know I’m not supposed to do that.  I’d already caused one scene Sunday, I didn’t need to cause another.  Options were: puke, pass out, or take my helmet off so I could breathe. I chose oxygen and I chose correctly.  And I put my helmet back on as soon as I could breathe.   Safety, first, right?  Even when you’re the jammer and safety means a two minute jammer penalty.  

So, yes, a dramatic Sunday.  

Saturday, I’m going to do it again.  In a public, hour long Fight Club vs. The World scrimmage, I will jam for the world.  And I won’t get out, and I won’t score, and it will be okay because I will leave it all on the track.  Except next time, I’ll leave it all on the track in a “fuck yeah, bitches!” way instead of a sobbing in the corner way.  


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  • 2 egg muffins with provolone, 1% milk, toast with peanut butter and banana, coffee w/ sugar free carmel macchiato creamer
  • Luna Bar
  • Chili w/ reduced fat sour cream, cheese, and fritos and a home brew
  • Chocolates
  • Chocolates
  • Salad with light Balsamic Vinaigrette, reduced cream cheese, cucumber, and salmon triscuits
  • Wine
  • Chocolates
  • Tortilla chips with Cock Radish 
  • Chocolates
  • Wine


  • 2 hr. Spin

Ok so that 2hr spin class almost killed me.  It was really boring.  Just pedaling pedaling pedaling.  More pedaling.  And it hurt.   And I got tired.  I ate a Luna bar halfway through.  Wish I’d had Shot Bloks, but Tim ate them all (men, omg.)  As I was eating it, I thought “this will give me stomach cramps” but I was hungry (even after a big breakfast) and my mouth and hands didn’t listen, I just ate it.  I didn’t get sick.  I was super wobbly when it got over and a little nauseous.  Drove home, downed a glass of Gatorade, and literally thought I would puke.  So I showered and lay down for two hours.  

Then I got up and ate a bowl of chili and felt better.  But I had nothing to munch on during Downton Abbey (I was catching up on episodes since Tim was napping,) so I broke into the giant heart chocolate box Tim got me for Valentine’s Day.  

Yeah.  There were four left this morning and now it’s empty…  


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Mmm, Spicy Chili!



  • 2lbs. Ground Beef
  • 3 cans Rotel
  • 1 can Tomato Sauce
  • 2 cans low sodium red kidney beans
  • 2 cans low sodium white kidney beans
  • 1 can low sodium pinto beans
  • 1 can low sodium garbanzo beans
  • 2 cans light beer
  • 1 can beef broth
  • Garlic (fresh or Garlic Powder (I used refrigerated garlic from a jar)
  • Chili Powder(s) (I used regular from the store and Piri Piri from Cruelie)
  • Cayenne Pepper
  • Cajun Seasoning (basically more chili powder)
  • Crushed Red Pepper
  • Cumin
  • Hot Sauce (I used my own Fire In Your Hole (Mango Habanero) and Tortuga Hellfire)
  • 2 cinnamon sticks
  • Pinch of nutmeg
  • Pinch of sugar
  • Fritos
  • Shredded Cheddar Cheese
  • Sour Cream

Chili Ramblings:

You really can’t fuck up chili.  You just throw shit in a crock pot and leave it for a while, and it’s magically delicious in a few hours.  However, quality ingredients and a few tips I’ve learned over the years will certainly benefit any chili chef.  This recipe probably can’t be replicated, since you won’t be able to access the same ingredients (Cruelie’s Piri Piri chili powder, Tortuga Hellfire sauce, or my own Fire in Your Hole sauce (I don’t think I had a recipe… If I did, I can’t find it…))

So, some tips before I get into how I made this:

  1. Beer.  Always put beer in the crock pot.  Doesn’t matter what kind, just dump some in.
  2. Sugar.  It makes the ingredients blend together.  I always throw in a pinch or two.
  3. Cinnamon Stick.  It’s like chili chocolate.  I don’t know how, but cinnamon in chili is a fucking must.  Do it.  Trust me.  This was my first attempt using nutmeg as well.  I think it worked also, but it’s too soon to make a “tip” out of it.
  4. Beans.  Who says you have to use “chili” beans or even red kidney beans?  I always use them as a base, but include a variety.
  5. Beef.  Some argue to use ground chuck or other expensive beef.  Frankly: you won’t taste it with the other flavors.  Don’t waste your money.  If you want to waste money, get a more expensive beer and fancy spices. These will enhance your flavor better than expensive meat.
  6. Quality spices.  The things that make this chili fabulous are my Fire in Your Hole sauce and my Piri Piri Chili Powder.  There are fancy herb/spice shops you can get good, fresh spices at to include in your chili over the traditional store bought ones.  Invest in one for your chili!
  7. When you think you’ve put enough seasoning in…. double it.  😉  Kidding.  Sort of.  I didn’t give amounts of the spices I used, because it is always “to taste.”  But I dump a shit ton of seasoning in.

Directions: (You’ll put most of the seasonings into the meat while it cooks as well as the crock pot.  Everything except: cinnamon, sugar, and nutmeg only go into the crockpot.  Crushed red pepper and garlic only go into the meat.)

  1. Brown Ground Beef.
    • Season with: chili powder, cayenne pepper, onion powder, garlic, cajun seasoning, cumin, crushed red pepper, 1/2 can of beer.
    • Once beef is browned and beer has cooked off, add hot sauce(s) and cook another minute or so.  Remove from heat, toss into crockpot.
  2. Dump into crockpot:
    • beef
    • rotel
    • all the beans
    • tomato sauce
    • Season with: chili powders, cayenne pepper, onion powder, cajun seasoning, cumin, cinnamon stick(s), nutmeg, sugar.
    • the rest of the beer
    • beef broth
  3. Cook on low 6-8 hours.  If it’s watery, cook on high for a bit to boil off the liquids.
  4. Enjoy with fritos, cheese, and sour cream.

416ps img_0253

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Murderball Madness!


  • Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage muffin w/ coffee and creamer and Naked Berry Blast
  • Italian Sammie w/ fries and ranch and two beers
  • Bertolli Chicken Parmesan Pasta meal w/ wine and homemade garlic “bread”
  • dove chocolates
  • ice cream


  • Reilly walk w/ Tim
  • 50 pushups
  • 50 situps

Hit up my brother’s Murderball Tourney yesterday with my husband.  We met my dad, Rowdy, Eve, and Lops there.  It was so fun!  Matt is a fucking beast!  We saw two games yesterday; his team played and won three.  The first game they played against their own “B” team, so it was a bit of a blow-out.  But… it was cool to watch, and I got to the one friend of Matt’s I know play, Javi.  What was super cool is that while Matt is basically the best player on his team…  Javi didn’t get a whole lot of play time (he’s much more impaired than Matt.)  But… I got to see both play, and it’s cool that he’s Matt’s bf on the team.  The second game was really close, vs. the University of Arizona (@Tuscon) Wildcats.  Apparently they’d stomped Matt’s team earlier this season.  Well, the Quin’s returned the favor yesterday.  It was badass.  They had two girls on their team and both were really good.

Then we came home, I had Bertolli and wine and passed out.  Matt has two more games today, but it’s during Sunday Bloody Sunday so I’m missing.  Sad day.

It was super fun, and it was extra special since my friends came!  I posted it on the forum since I think Roller Derby and Murderball would draw similar crowds, and maybe we could cross advertise or something (or the Harlequinns could do a halftime show, which was an idea that came up,) but I didn’t really expect anyone to come.  Then three people did!  And it was super fun and we had a great time and I love ROLLERDERBY.

Oh.  And Matt is dating this girl Morgan and I met her yesterday.  Verdict pending.

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Do you ever annoy yourself?

Food: way over

Exercise: way under

  • walked Reilly.  

Yeah, no push ups or sit ups yesterday.  Then I skipped Spin Class b/c Tim wanted me to have dinner and a movie with him.  Probably a good thing since my legs feel like death.  We cooked dinner together.  We used to do that all the time.  Tim even found a recipe on Cooking Light–except it ended up not being from Cooking Light… but it was good.  He drives me nuts a bit, so I had to be extra patient.  Here are the ingredients we were missing from the recipe: fresh mango (substituted canned pineapple,) curry powder (substituted cumin, turmeric, chili powder, and coriander), fresh ginger (substituted powdered,) coconut milk (substituted 1% milk & some coconut), red curry paste (substituted garlic chili stuff…), cauliflower (brussel sprouts,) green onions (omit).  I’ll substitute a thing or two.  Fresh for ground ginger, ok.  But that was like half of the ingredients.  It turned out good.  I guess.  I dunno.  The sauce wasn’t creamy, but watery…  Tim thinks it was supposed to be.  Flavor was good, but that was weird.  Then we watched Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, we had also seen it in the theatre.  It was good.

I drank most of a bottle of wine, took a muscle relaxor, and slept like a baby.  Finally.  I’ve been laying in bed awake for hours lately.  I feel lazy for skipping exercise, but balance is one of my goals as well, so I just focused on that yesterday.  I love Tim.  He’s a good husband.  Sweet.  With pretty green eyes.  Oh–and Reilly slept in my lap while we watched the movie, and Paris (the cat) slept on my chest but sort of touching Reilly, which was good b/c they hate each other.  (Reilly sniffs Paris’ butt and he doesn’t like that.)

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I see why Mormons are so fit. Alcohol = Calories. Ugh.


  • 50 crunches
  • 50 toe push-ups
  • 25 cobra reverse crunch things on my exercise ball
  • 1 mile Reilly walk
  • 9 jams.  Four jamming, five blocking.  (!!!)


  • 3 eggs over easy, two pieces wheat toast generously buttered, 1% milk, coffee w/ creamer, 2 turkey sausage links
  • Brussel Sprouts and Shitake Lo Mein
  • 2 beers
  • Salad w/ balsamic vinegar and too much olive oil (my hand slipped.  oops.) Filet Mignon.  Rice pilaf (-aroni).
  • wine.

Moved my alcohol consumption into the “Anytime” category on Fitbit so that I can see how many calories I’m drinking.  600+ today.  I’m 450 over my suggested caloric intake.  *sigh.*  I’m on the wagon tomorrow.  I swears.

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Train Insane or Remain the Same

Today, I woke early for Spin Class.  I was up and walking Reilly before sunrise (6:30) so that I could make my 8am class and still get to the Ale House for brunch with my derby wife (Feist E One from the Boulder County Bombers) and Alessia (her daughter.)

Spin Class.  Was.  Terrible.  I mean it was bad.  Kill Bill, naturally.  We did a five minute sprint twice, except that the second time he couldn’t tell time and it was only four minutes long.  Suri wondered why a 5 minute sprint is bad.  Pedaling as fast as you can for five minutes.  Nothing else.  First–it’s not challenging.  Second–it’s boring!  And we did it twice! Or at least Bill thinks we did it twice and that’s just as bad.  He kept messing up his timing, telling us we’d do something for a minute, then 48 seconds later telling us we were done.  The worst, though, is that he drones on and on and on about ridiculous republican bullshit forever.  We missed several intervals and over-rested today because of it.  I was super annoyed.  My usual bike was taken today, so I sat in a different one.  Conveniently there was a poll in my line of vision blocking Bill out.  Also, I couldn’t hear his droning as well.  It was sort of Charlie Brown style.  I zoned out for one of our rests/his stories, and he talked so long I got cold!  This was 45 minutes in to the class.  There was no reason for me to be cold.  Ughhh.  He was up there droning on about another instructor telling him not to waste her time–meanwhile I’m sitting there on my bike thinking I wish he wasn’t wasting mine.  Damn.  The thing that really kills me, though, is the 31 miles my bike said I’d ridden (that’s a lot–we did a lot of sprinting) and the fact that my thighs and calves hurt later in the day.  So I guess it wasn’t a total waste.  Still–I can’t wait til Tuesday.  Leslie Spin.  I miss her.

Bill has these sayings.  “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care–and I care.”  *Vomit.*  Today was: “Train Insane or Remain the Same.”  *Double Vomit.*  I think I’ll start Contenders practice with this quote on Monday.  Hahahahaha.  Yeah right.  I am starting w/ a quote, though.

Anyway, so that.


  • Honey nut cheerios w/ 1% milk
  • Energy Bite (like 2.5 servings, I think…)
  • Lamb Burger w/ fries, ranch, and beer.
  • Dips (queso, 3 bean, cottage cheese, guacamole…) pot stickers, celery salad… … potato chips…  tortilla chips…  etc.
  • more beer.
  • wine.

Lops made this delicious Celery Salad tonight–it was so sweet too.  She made healthy food because she knew some of the Contenders are on the TBT (our holiday party was tonight.)  I ❤ Lops.  And all the rest of the Cont-ies.  I had a nice night with them tonight.

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Weaning myself.

Yeah… I haven’t written in a few days.  Busy derby weekend.  I’m weaning myself off of this TBT.

So.  Friday.  Avoided the Dove Dark Chocolates like a champion.  Standard breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.  Speed Skating and Off Skates workout.  Saw an entirely different side of Thunda.  I knew that lady was fit, and now I know why. Shit.  There were multiple “it’s Friday night, right?” comments.  It was a fucking EPiC workout.  Hell.  And then Glory.

Dinner and wine/beer w/ Rowdy, Suri, and Hertz.  Rowdy made: Chicken Sausage Deliciousness and holy hell was it delicious.  Nom nom nom.  Fan-fucking-tastic.  I licked my bowl clean.  Suri made an apple pie.  I had TWO slices and I don’t even care.  Homemade apple pie?  No way I’m passing that shit up.

Woke up Saturday in time for Spin Class.  Usually I “prefer” (“loathe”) BodyPump on Saturdays, but I’m missing Tuesday, Denny came down to join me, and Leslie was teaching.  I sweat a lot.  I think it was mostly wine, too (the sweat.).  It was an extremely difficult class.  Saturdays are “Endurance Cycle” but most of the teachers do their regular thing (Kill Bill added three 5 minute sprints to his “Endurance Cycle” (they are also 15 mins longer…)) but Leslie took the “endurance” part seriously.  A little too seriously if you ask me.

I was feeling a little sickly (hungover, or, asI told Batty, Hang-rover) so I didn’t eat much.  I had a Turkey Sausage muffin before Spin, a Naked Veggie-Berry smoothie and some cheese samples at the grocery, Velveeta mac ‘n cheese, and spaghetti and meatballs.  Ok that sounds like a lot, but it didn’t feel like I ate much.  Had a half glass of wine with dinner.

Sunday Bloody Sunday wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be (after speed-skating, Thunda’s death-by-squatting, and Leslie’s death-by-bicycle, I was concerned.)  I died hard when I had a couple of power jams as a jammer, but everyone said I did well.  I got a good three scoring passes in, I just need to get to where I can run the clock out on those.  It was really fun today, and Alex Terminateu skated with USPS.  I really like her.  She looked good in Navy.  😉  I’m excited for the next draft because between newbs and transfers, there are a lot of skaters ready to move up!  It would have been more fun if Dosa had been there, though.

And then I drank a lot.  Beer.  Margarita.  Vodka OJ.  Wine.  And ate a large Wahoo’s Bonzai bowl w/ Cajun Fish (delicious) and a bowl of Tim’s chili.  With everything.  Unfortunately I’m feeling a little sickly with some stomach issues.  Clearly a result of my poor food choices.  So.  I’ll be back on the wagon tomorrow.

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Pumpkin Eater

Food: 2716

  • Quinoa Bowl in 1% milk with 1/2 banana, walnuts, maple syrup.  White toast w/ honey almond butter.  Coffee.  Sugar free Pumpkin Creamer.  
  • 2 Silvermine Sub Catering Sammies via Blew.  Two Beers.
  • A home brew beer.
  • Leafy greens, sugar snap peas, cherry tomatoes salad w/ nonfat greek yogurt, pom, and red wine vinegar dressing* with Lemon Herb Wild Rice and a Grilled Chicken Breast.  With wine.
  • 1% milk w/ Hershey’s Special Dark syrup.

* The Greek Yogurt, Pom, Red Wine Vinegar Dressing is good–but it was better Saturday when I put Honey in it as well. I left it out yesterday b/c it seemed an odd combo. Perhaps a Raspberry Honey would perfect this recipe.  (I’ll post once I know for certain.)


  • … scrimmage.

I ate poorly. I ate okay well yesterday, but I drank a shit ton.  Almost 1,000 calories in booze.  I’d be so much slimmer if I were like Mormon or something.  Also, because Blew’s brews (teehee) were good beer instead of shit, at 6.5% alcohol… yeah.  I felt it.  And then it was dusk when I was driving my one-eyed Subaru home.  Lesson clearly not learned.  I put my brights on.  I apologize to the poor soul in front of me.  It had to be done.  Even if it wasn’t really dark out yet.

I was totally in a negative funk (with girl plumbing issues to boot) when I got to scrimmage yesterday.  Rebel saved me on the plumbing problems.  Whew.  I almost shouted “does anyone have a tampon?!” to a warehouse full of boys.  (Sheriff and Cuddlefish and Tanaia were the only three there when I walked through the door prepared to yell.  I stopped myself in time.) Rebel is the shit, btw.  Anyway, I shook the funk, had a great scrimmage, a great beer and chat w/ Cruelie, fun NSOing the Punks (the littles are so freaking cute) and a great sober up water with Rowdy.


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Friday: 2414 Calories


  • Cheerios w/ 1% milk, coffee, creamer
  • Apple, Yogurt w/ fruit and granola, almonds
  • Chicken breast and swiss on wheat bread w/ Diet Dr Pepper, banana, and three brownies…
  • Triscuits w/ avocado and salmon, carrot, vodka.  Lots of vodka.


  • Long walk w/ Reilly

Saturday: 5000+ calories

  • Quinoa bowl w/ maple syrup, walnuts, apple slices.  Three eggs w/ salmon and avocado.
  • Peanut Butter and Banana w/ honey on wheat.  Milk.
  • Pizza.  (4 slices.) Garlic knot.  Beer.  Vodka.  Lots and lots and lots of vodka.  With olives.  It was mayhem.


  • Body Pump
  • 2 40 minute bouts

My legs hurt.  That is all.

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