Posts tagged Mental Toughness

Double Threats, via Kamikaze Kitten

Double Threats, via Kamikaze Kitten

I’m not sure I’m experienced enough to comment on Kami’s idea regarding “AL,” but there are a couple of parts of this article I liked and that I think apply to playing derby, not just being a “Double Threat.”

1) Self-Talk.  I learned this from Raven LunaChic.  In 2013, the Contenders played PPDD’s Slamazons.  It was my first bout as Captain, and the first bout where I was in the primary jammer rotation.  We didn’t have She Who, Ho J, or Pippi, and I was feeling pressured to succeed.  I went to the penalty box four times as the jammer.  Oi.  Raven handed me the jammer panty and said “CALM DOWN.”  I went “oh.  ok.  calm down.”  And I did and I played fine the rest of the game.

2) Step One: Self Assess.  Step Two: Adjust.  I would break it down a bit more, to:

  • Step One: Be Aware.  Know what helps you succeed and what makes you struggle.
  • Step Two: Self-Assess.  If you are struggling (or succeeding), be able to identify why.
  • Step Three: Adjust.  And the more quickly you are able to do so, the better.

For me, I now know I jam better when I am calm.  At a recent home team bout, I had four jammer penalties in the first half.  I kept wracking my brain between jams, but I couldn’t figure out what was up.  I wasn’t stressed about the game, so I didn’t need to calm down, what was it?  At half time, two people approached me separately, but with the same advice.  (Gaygan and Dave Wood.)  They both told me to calm down.  Huh.  I realized I had indeed been playing frantically.  We were missing our three strongest skaters: Misto, Cass, and Bob.  I felt more pressure to play well, and as always: the pressure led to epic failure.  I calmed down the second half and played fine.

So.  Step One: I know that I jam well when calm.  Step Two: I am still working on being aware of this happening.  Step Three: I am able to adjust, but need to work on step two so that I can adjust more quickly.

In terms of blocking…  I’m still on Step One.  I don’t really know what I do when I block well, or what’s missing when I struggle.  For jamming: I need to quickly self-asses what’s interfering with success when I struggle.  (I’m still torn–maybe Kami is right and it is a two-step process.  I just feel like I know what it is, I’m just not always able to ID when it’s happening…)

So, I need to work on: becoming aware of why I block well/why I don’t and

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Ouch

Food: Way the fuck over

  • Honey Nut Cheerios, 1% milk, coffee, sugar free hazelnut creamer
  • Cafeteria biscuit w/ gravy (sooo salty), clementine, VitaRain Zero
  • Apple, 1% milk, natural PB & simply J on wheat.  2 homemade bran muffins
  • Curry Chicken Noodle leftovers from Tuesday
  • No Bake Energy Bite, most of a Naked Protein Shake
  • Snap Peas, Hummus, Red Wine

Exercise:

  • 50 toe push ups
  • 50 crunches (25 regular, 25 cobra)
  • 30 min scrimmage
  • 2 hr. Gaygan practice
  • 1 hr. FC practice

I’m down on life again.  Maybe I am S.A.D.  You know, Seasonal Affective Disorder, people who are sad in January.  Maybe it’s PMS.  I don’t fucking know.  Anyway.  I was mopey and craving Biscuits and Gravy from the cafeteria.  Got them.  Totally worth their salty delicious 500+ calories.  Lunch–Colin’s mom sent homemade bran-ish muffins.  I had two, even though they were from Monday and not as delicious as they could have been.  Walked Reilly, ate some leftovers, left early for practice.

It’s sort of fucked up.  I leave half an hour early and I get to practice at the same time.  Traffic.  Ugh.  Scrimmaged for 30 mins.  I pulled my left ass check.  It hurt the rest of practice.  Gaygan practice–100 laps.  I dropped out at 60.  I just don’t have the mental toughness to push through right now.  My back only started hurting at 60, which is pretty fucking good (it usually hurts around 30 and I suffer through til around 70-80.)  My legs were also super tired.  And my butt cramp.  And I was doing the hyperventilating thing and having a hard time breathing again.  Otherwise… practice was good…ish…I think.

Then Travel Team (Fight Club) practice 8-9pm.  I don’t know how to explain that despite being re-christened “Travel Team” practice, Wednesdays are so clearly “Fight Club” practice still.  I was exhausted.  I had most of an Energy Bite and most of a Protein Smoothie thing and we rolled around hitting each other and doing the flippy spinny thing.  I like flippy spinny.  I’m decently good at flippy spinny.  We practiced pairing and dropping back after hitting a jammer out–the partner who hadn’t done the hitting–basically exactly what Quigley did to me last weekend.  But I was so exhausted.  Die told me after Monday that I need to stop and turn around quicker.  So naturally during this drill my stopping and turning around was ridiculously slow.  I had partnered w/ Eve and Cass.  Cass is freaking amazing.  I’d barely dropped back five feet before she was back in bounds and I was clockwise blocking her.  She was also really encouraging, reminding Eve and I we were almost done, to speed up, etc.  I like Cass.  I fell on my bum knee.  It hurts today.

Drove my miserable sorry ass home and decided I wanted to sit up for a bit and drink a glass of wine.  I haven’t been sleeping.  Derby thoughts keeping me awake.  The wine (and muscle relaxor) totally helped.  But this morning I’m sleepy and groggy and blaaah again.

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Mental Toughness–good for more than skating.

Food: 2572/2482

  • Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage Muffin w/ coffee, Sugarfree Pumpkin Spice creamer, and a glass of milk.
  • Apple, Greek yogurt w/ fruit and granola, Naked Berry Blast, Luna Bar
  • VitaRain Sport, Ham and Reduced Fat Swiss on wheat with a banana and cottage cheese
  • Dove Dark Chocolate (just one!)
  • Leafy greens, cherry tomato, sugar snap pea, and imitation crab salad w/ light italian dressing
  • Dirty Martini

Exercise:

  • Long Reilly Walk
  • 1 hr Speed Skate Training
  • 25 mins agility circuits of death
  • 10 mins yoga stretching

I was counting my blessings yesterday because after practice I went for a drink with Tim and friends.  I had a dirty martini because it was a sports bar so I didn’t wanna be girly and order wine, but I also didn’t wanna drink a calorie loaded beer.  (There are 512 calories in 8oz vodka, btw, so that totally backfired.)  I drank my martini, then a large glass of water, then left when the wings, cheesy fries, nachos, etc arrived so as not to be tempted.  I was fine.  I may as well not have had anything to drink at all.  So I was driving home, through Highlands Ranch, in my workout clothes, at 11pm.

I saw him hiding out on a side street as I rounded the corner.  As soon as I saw him, I knew.  I was going to be pulled over.  I wasn’t speeding.  I wasn’t swerving.  I was driving perfectly.  Unfortunately, my driver’s side headlight is out.  I’ve been nagging Tim to fix it, but.  Well.  Men.  Ugh.  So he pulled me over.  My heart was racing.  I was panicing.  As I was fumbling through my “Insurance and Registration” folder from my glovebox, I did the same thing I did at the Sac City bout… without the Sith quote.  I said to myself: “Lindsay.  Relax.  You’re fine.  You’re not drunk.  And as long as you don’t look like you’re panicked, this is going to be a brief lecture about your headlight.  Relax.  If you look nervous, he’s getting the breathalizer out and then your’e fucked.  Calm.”

And I did.  And it was fine.  And I drove safely home.  I feel weird writing this.  I would never drive under the influence.  I’ve just heard stories about women and one drink, etc.  Plus… well.  If you eat healthy every day, then eat a loaded baked potato the day before a cholesterol test, you’re gonna have high cholesterol.  I think Blood-Alcohol measurements can be similarly distorted.  When Tim got home and we talked about it, he reassured me.  I was fine.  He even thought if I had been breathalized (which wouldn’t have happened anyway–I’d have told the SOB I wanted a blood test.  Which means they have to take you to a hospital which gives the alcohol time to burn out of your system. 😉 )  I would have been under both legal limits.  But I dunno.  That D.W.A.I. limit is pretty low.  Anyway, it was fucking close call and it was scary as shit.  And Pepa told me, and so did Titan and I know I need to get that thing fixed.  It’s just: the man’s the man, and that’s just the way it is.  Tim mows the lawn and takes care of the cars etc.  I go grocery shopping and buy his underwears.  Marriage is hard.  😉

The Speed Skating and Off Skates class last night was awesome.  I really don’t understand why it doesn’t count as a practice–not that it matters to me, but Dredna was there last night, and I know she’s tight on practices for the G&H bout next week.  Gaygan and Sweets are super cool.  They’re knowledgable and friendly and good at explaining things, easy to approach, they don’t judge, and well: they treat everyone equally.  Regardless of skill, attitude, whatever.  They’re good people.  I logged the activities into fitbit and it said I burned like 600+ calories last night.  I believe it.

I had one Dove Chocolate yesterday.  I was chatting with the night janitor, and gave him a few pieces, and “absentmindedly” grabbed one for myself.  (My conscience was screaming at me–“PUT THE CHOCOLATE DOWN!  DO NOT EAT THAT!” Until my tongue piped in with “sweet creamy glory…”  But when it was gone and I wasn’t satisfied, I did not grab another.  I had Sugarfree Pumpkin Spice creamer per Rowdy.  She had peppermint mocha the other day, so I scoured the grocery store creamer isles til I found the good sugarfree shit.  The first few sips tasted carboardy (consider–i’m comparing to Starbucks) but after that it was heaven.  So thanks, Rowds!  🙂  I packed a shit ton extra food in my lunch to avoid the chocolate.  It totally worked.  Jammed on that Luna bar when my assistant started eating Twix.  And water.  I had forgotten water Thursday.  Somehow that makes me less likely to eat.

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