Posts tagged cobra

Mojo

Food: (Haven’t been using Fitbit to track food lately…)

  • Honey Nut Cheerios, 1% milk, banana, coffee, sugarfree hazelnut creamer
  • Apple, Greek Yogurt w/ fruit and granola
  • 1% cottage cheese, ham and provolone on wheat (w/o condiments, b/c condiments are evil.)
  • Chocolate Coconut cake (which I also forgot to list yesterday–my “Colin Mom” goody of the week.)
  • Naked Green Machine w/ Greek Yogurt, Honey, and Whey Protein.
  • PIZZA.  and WINE.

Exercise:

  • Short Reilly Walk
  • 73 Toe Pushups (23 uh…  hand release? push-ups @ practice)
  • 73 Situps (25 crunches, 25 cobras, 23 full-out sit-ups)
  • 2 hr league practice
  • 30 minute scrimmage w/ FC vs. Hoods
  • 30 minute FC drill (holy exhaustion, btw.)

I’m not being a very consistent non-TBTer so far this round.  Basketball is keeping me from exercising as much as I like, I’m eating bleh, I’m not using Fitbit to it’s potential in terms of tracking my caloric intake, I’m not even blogging consistently, etc.  I have done my pushups and situps almost every day, though, and I think I’m seeing results. (At the very least I can do 25-30 pushups w/o needing to rest.)  Time will tell.

Yesterday my “monthly gift” arrived.  Thank mother nature.  Holy shitballs.  I’m definitely more… ah… chill… than even yesterday morning.  Still a bit crazy, but hey.

Practice.  We did stuff I’m good at, so that was cool…  and then despite not originally being invited to participate in the FC/Hood scrimmage during TT practice time, the Conts had a last minute invite so most of us skated.  That was cool.  And fun.  And surreal.  And then we did a four-wall w/ a jammer trying to break through drill…  when it was my turn to jam I could hear myself wheezing.  I may actually be related to Darth Vader.  That’s what I sounded like.  It’s exhausting doing that any time, but against four FCers…  Um.  Yeah. But I didn’t give up.  For two whole minutes.  And I think I got by once… and around/through most of them a couple times…  so that was cool.  I guess.

I think it’s pretty clear Evals have been really tough for me.  I really hate being on the committee.  It’s like…  it was hard not making Contenders, and then when I made it, I felt soo much pressure, and realized it’s even harder actually making it.  And then Evals are hard not knowing, right?  Yeah.  1,000x worse knowing.  OMG.

Anyway.  I had two emails this week out of the blue from super awesome skaters telling me to keep my chin up, that I’m doing great.  And of course you guys have been saying that same thing for weeks…  it’s just cool.  My favorite part of derby is how we all take care of each other. It’s evals and we all want the same thing but we support each other in our own goals rather than being negative-ly competitive.  You know?  It’s not just what people are saying to me, but what I’m seeing on the track and in people’s actions and demeanor.  I can look at two girls who I know are fighting for the same spot, who I know realize they are fighting for the same spot, and I can see them cheering each other on, and doing everything they can to help the other girl succeed.

Basically: derby girls are fucking awesome.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes)

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Justin Bieber is ruining my life.

Food:

  • Coffee, creamer, Honey Nut Cheerios w/ banana & 1% milk.
  • Apple
  • Snap peas, celery, red/yellow bell peppers, VitaRain Zero, Brussel Sprout Lo Mein, Rice Krispie.
  • Green Machine w/ Greek yogurt & No Bake Energy Bite  (a big ‘un, though.)

Exercise:

  • 50 toe push ups
  • 25 crunches
  • 25 cobra reverse crunches
  • Most of a Die practice
  • My own practice (weird.)

I haven’t been sleeping.  And while I managed to eat ~1800 calories yesterday, it felt like I’d eaten nothing.  Yesterday was a hard day.  Traffic was terrible (Justin Bieber concert,) I was late to a Rad Die practice, and if I hadn’t had responsibilities at Conts practice, I’d probably have turned around and returned home rather than fight the traffic.  I left at 4:30 and sat from Lincoln to I-225, finally making it onto the track at 6:25.  I missed a 100 laps opportunity, then wasn’t warmed up and had to sit out during the Black Widow a bit, too.

I’m super disappointed in myself right now.   I know I’m doing better, and yesterday I was over here ready to work at it some more, but.  Well.  A part of me really is saying fuck it all and giving up.  Last night was hard for me.  I sat out part of the Black Widow because I was fighting tears and my throat was closing up and I couldn’t breathe.  I let them take me in the car on the way to practice, home, and on the way to work, and I’m sitting here fighting them again.  No reason.  I’m being stupid and feeling sorry for myself for no reason.  But I’m having a very “why try” day or two and am really struggling not to give up.

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