The Spiral Continues

Food:

  • Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage Muffin
  • Apple
  • Salad w/ light balsamic vinaigrette and gorgonzola cheese
  • peppers, carrots, hummus
  • Beer, Coke Zero w/ Vodkas
  • Martini, Filet, Lobster Bacon Mac, green beans, caesar salad

Exercise:

  • Body Combat (boo)
  • Body Pump

Body Combat was terrible yesterday.  I am awful at it, and i kept getting lost, and I almost walked out several times.  I stuck it out and did Body Pump after.  I hate lifting, too, but at least I can do that.

Then shopping–yay!  New jeans size 8 from Levi’s (last year I had to get size 16s, so holy shit!)  Size 6 pants on clearance at Eddie Bauer so I will be comfortable at work.  New Nike’s on clearance from the outlet (mine are ghetto 1999 style, so these new ones are sweet.)  They’re navy blue w/ chartreuse accents.  Which is cool, but clashes with my black pants.  Oh well.

This lady was really mean to me at Nike.  It was super busy, so I walked over to the only place I could find a seat to try on four pairs of shoes (which I was carrying along with a pair of sweats and bags from several stores I’d already hit.)  This lady started complaining and pointed at my sweats and said “hit in the face.”  Had I hit her with my sweats when I sat down?  So I said “I’m sorry… ?”  And she said “Well you don’t have to be so RUDE.  You could say ‘EXCUSE ME'” and turned her back on me.  I said “I didn’t realize I’d done anything, and as soon as I heard you, I apologized.”  She ignored me.  I got up and moved.

Came home, put on my new Skinny Jeans and a Nuggets Tee Shirt and waited for Tim so we could go to the movies.

My principal called me.  An English teacher had a baby.  Her sub resigned Friday.  Apparently I will be teaching her classes for the next month. Which is awesome!  But I have no idea what they’re learning, what they’re supposed to do Monday, and the Assistant Principal who was supposed to call me w/ that info never did.  So I’m stressing a bit.

We saw Hansel and Gretel.  Then we went to The Outback for dinner and Tim got mad at me and it was awful and then we came home and I locked myself in the bedroom watching The Time Traveler’s Wife on TV.

He was going to go skiing with his friends this weekend and stayed home b/c I had a rough week.  I told him to go, because I knew this would happen, it always does, and I have no patience for it anymore, which only added to the awful.  I take him to the movies.  He doesn’t thank me.  We’re sitting having drinks and he starts talking about Wicked as if he’s ever seen the play or read the book (he hasn’t.)  I say it would be cool if we could go to a play once in a while.  And he blows up about how I don’t appreciate him staying home with me instead of going skiing.  He just went to a movie I wanted to see–why isn’t that enough?

If it’s such a chore hanging out with me, i wish he would stop.  Which is why I told him to go to the fucking mountains and ski with his friends.  He never wants to do anything with me.  Ever.  And when I finally drag him out, begrudgingly, on my own dime, all he does is complain and say I should be grateful he even came out.

And then he starts bitching that all I ever do is derby, and Tim should come first (and he should) but derby comes first etc etc etc.  It was really downhill from there.  Maybe i should quit.  I’m not getting out of it what I put into it.  My husband hates me.  I’m teaching tomorrow.  And i’m sitting here waiting around to go to practice.

Clearly a turning point for me.  What’s going to happen?

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3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    sunnyd605 said,

    holy shit dude. that is so stressful. i really don’t think you should quit. that isn’t going to solve any problems at home. maybe you could take a step back though, and not spend quite so much time doing derby stuff. nobody will die if you don’t go to every practice all the time. you need some rest. there is no way you can deal with that stuff at home when you are constantly exhausted and stressed out.

  2. 2

    Crapsicle! This sounds stressful. Being that I am a Single Lady, I can’t speak from personal experience on this topic. But I do know a few of my old teammates designated “off nights” with their significant others, and it saved their relationships and kept them from having to quit derby. No matter what is going on with their derby world or their husbands/boyfriends’ social lives, they stick to having certain nights per week that are spent together and not at their separate activities.

  3. 3

    eve said,

    His behavior is… worrisome. It sounds like there are deeper issues than just priorities and attention. Couple’s counseling can really help, and if he doesn’t want to go, maybe find someone for yourself to help you get your head around this.

    It sounds like y’all are stuck in an unhealthy pattern that needs to stop. For serious, counseling.


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