Chocolate Covered Cherries

Food: 

  • Honey Nut Cheerios w/ 1% milk, Starbucks Triple Venti Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Late
  • Apple, Greek yogurt w/ fruit and granola
  • ham and swiss on wheat, diet black cherry hansen’s soda…  cottage cheese
  • bag of chocolate covered cherries…
  • cuties, cuties, cuties.  Diet Coke.
  • Brown rice w/ tofu/onion/garlic/red pepper thing.  Soy Sauce.  Water
  • Chocolate Protein Shake
  • Pizza.
  • Wine

Exercise:

  • chewing  (get it cuz I ate a lot?)
  • short Reilly walk
  • 50 toe pushups
  • 50 crunches…  not sure what kind.

So I ate a lot yesterday.  Starbucks, a bag of candy, and two dinners.  Meh.  Not much exercise, either.  I had basketball last night.

I guess I can talk about the obvious thing that’s been bothering me now…  not sure I really want to.  I picked every name and placement on all three of those rosters except for one.  Guess which one?

Three people for two spots.  19, 20, and Meanie.  19 had five votes.  20 had four votes.  Meanie had two votes. One person picked 19 and…. couldn’t decide between 20 and Meanie.  That’s when I picked Meanie and 20, making it 19–five votes, 20–five votes, Meanie–three votes.  19 had already secured a spot… if I’d put her name in instead of 20’s…  who knows what would have happened?  20 may have gotten it.  There may have been a Meanie-20 tie and a revote between just those two…

But that’s not what I did.  I wrote the names of the two skaters I thought were better.  And because of that…  I didn’t make it.  If there had been a vote…likely 20 would have had four votes and Meanie would have had three… but we’ll never know since that one person couldn’t decide, and I decided for her.

So yeah.  It sucks being that close and not close enough.  It sucks watching people do the bare minimum at the last minute and earn something you’ve worked months for.  It sucks breaking down your friends/teammates to pluses and minuses and skills.  It sucks seeing everything play out exactly how it should have–due largely to your own hard work–except for one piece.  Especially when that one piece is your own name.  And it sucks giving honest feedback to 19 and 20 when all I really want to do is exploit their every weakness for my own advantage.

But…  as much as all of that sucked and I hated this month.  Yesterday, I got to text Sunny D “CONGRATULATIONS CONT!” and she nearly shat herself she was so surprised.  Which felt pretty good.  And had me smiling the rest of the day.  (And now, too.)  And Rowdy, love, I’d have text you, too, but that was such a no brainer it felt trite.  Etc.  I could talk about all of you.  You guys all did so great, and I’m so proud of and happy for everyone, it seems silly to be upset that one thing didn’t end up how I wanted it to.

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4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    eve said,

    It’s ok to be upset. It’s ok to feel those bad feelings. That’s healthy and natural. What’s important is to get back up and get back into it. Fall seven times, get back up eight.

    When I was in Dallas and kept on trying out for the travel team and failing (3 times in a row), Lickity Split Tail gave me some advice that I try to remember: “be so good they can’t ignore you.” You can do this, and you got this.

  2. 2

    sunnyd605 said,

    “Nearly” shat myself….yeah let’s go with that :). Love you buddy. You will absolutely get it next time.

  3. 3

    thanks buddy, I just read this. I really do appreciate all your support. Looking forward to scrimmage tonight!

  4. 4

    Also – disappointment is a Real Thing and it’s hard to deal with. People cope in different ways, but there links have a few good suggestions to consider:
    http://experiencelife.com/article/the-5-best-ways-to-build-resiliency/
    http://www.liveandlovework.com/2012/11/16/dealing-with-disappointment/


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