Etc ‘n stuff

I’ve mostly still been doing well-ish.

Monday I ate well through the day and had my Almond Snickers bar after an incredibly tough practice…  Tuesday I ate well if you discount the fourish pizelle cookies I ate…  also the glass of Simply Apple w/ Rum…  I had burritos last night for dinner, w/ sour cream and extra cheese and salsa… it was sooo good to have some real food.  But I also went to Spin class, so…  I think that was fine.

In other news…  my back kills me  when we do those 100 laps.  Rad Die says hers does too…  so I’m wondering… what does that say about me?  What does it mean when I have to sit out because my back is killing me?  Does it say I am not as tough as some of my teammates?  Is it mental toughness in this situation, or is it physical toughness?  Do I fight through the pain or sit out?

Friday during Speed Skating I sat out for a few laps, then jumped back in, then had to pull out as we were starting the very last lap.  I was soooo disappointed in myself, but… I also had new wheels on, had already tripped and caused a three person pile up on turn 1, and going into that lap I clipped my own wheel…  it seemed safest to drop out.

Monday…  I fought to keep going until after my turn to lead for five laps.  I had to really fight once we got to Shank, who was right in front of me.  I was struggling the two or three skaters before her.  So, while I’m happy with my performance (80 laps, a three lap rest, then three more laps, then they were done)…  I wonder.  I wonder what is preventing me from finishing.  Is it physical or is it mental?  I am generally able to keep going until after my turn to lead.  Did I do 80 laps Monday and 65 last Friday because of where I was located in the pace line?  Or was that really when I needed to drop out?

I guess time will tell.  And…  do I keep pushing to get to the 100 laps?  They were going so fast then, I wish I had just stayed in the line and finished.  But in terms of speed…  I was not quite there.  I could have dropped to the back of the line…  I dunno.  I just don’t know.

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