Sort of Surreal.

Food: (1583/2191 Calories)

  • Frosted mini-wheats w/ 1% milk, Coffee, Sugarfree Vanilla Creamer
  • Apple, Del Monte Cup o’Peaches
  • Natural PB & Simply Fruit J on wheat w/ 1% milk and an apple
  • Smoothie: Banana, frozen berries, kale, honey, milk, nonfat vanilla yogurt, blueberry pomegranate juice
  • 3/5 Hr. Energy, 3 Cliff Shot Bloks


  • 1 mile Reilly walk
  • Practice
  • 2 jams blocking at FC/MHC scrimmage

I finally did better on my food yesterday.  I think the fiber in the apples helps with my hunger.  I dunno.  At regular practice my groin started aching.  I think it was my body saying “we’re doing this shit again?!  FUCK YOU THEN. no.”  I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to skate during the scrimmage, which I was so excited to have been invited to participate in.  So I took it a ‘lil easy.  Which is unfortunate, cuz we worked on those swoopy dead-leg hits and the Urrk’n block.  I’m “close” on both of those, so I could have used the practice.  And then the scrimmage.

*Sigh.*  The whole thing was surreal.  I wasn’t nervous.  At all.  I usually have “shit my pants face” all day for big scrimmages/bouts.  But  I was pretty chill.  I was concerned about my groin, it was affecting how I could block/stop myself after a hit, but I wasn’t letting it get to me.  I was not going to be jamming, so I didn’t have to worry about that.  We had 2-3 FC blockers & a FC jammer w/ 1-2 Conts every jam.  My first jam was with Rowdy, Nona, and Cruelie, Cass jamming.  Scrum start.  Rowdy on the inside next to me, Cruelie on my outside, and then Nona who was “O.”  It was weird, b/c I knew as soon as I took a knee and looked at Cruelie and the MHC jammer that she was going to try to push through between us.  Then she did, and I was surprised how fast it happened…  but I was up an in position and holding her at the same time.  Then I hit her out.  (wtf?)  Then I had lost Cruelie and Nona, but Rowdy was right there with me holding the MHC jammer behind everyone.  Which was wicked cool.  My second jam was the same line up, but Eve instead of Rowdy.  Same thing. I wasn’t able to hit the jammer all the way out, but Eve was there with me and we got her out/held her together for a while.  It was sooo sooooo fast.  I remember my first Contender practice, a scrimmage, thinking how fast it was.  Eventually I got used to it.  I remember Frak saying the same thing at her first Cont/FC scrimmage.  Last night was…  again, surreal.  Everything was happening so fast, and I recognized that, but somehow I managed not to let it bother me, and I think I was reacting pretty damn fast myself.  I certainly could have transitioned to offense faster (I’m still struggling even to play offense w/o doing it directionally,) but overall…I was feeling pretty good.

And then the incident happened.  That, also, was surreal.  I was standing in front of the bench, I heard her scream, I looked up, her legs were in the air, and one of her feet was… pointing awkwardly.  She reached for it, realized that was a bad idea, the motion seemed to…  make the foot twist the other way.  She screamed again, and I thought “hit the ground! hit the ground!”   She needed to be on the ground so that it would stop swinging back and forth…  That image is burned in my memory and blacked out at the same time.  She landed, and there was that stunned moment of silence.  Calm before the storm.  Someone yelled “call 911,” she was screaming in pain, her teammates surrounding her.  Distinctly, one of her cries was for the realization of what the pain meant, not the pain itself.  It was echoed by her teammates.  All of her hard work, the exciting challenge of WFTDA Championships, of taking on the Goliath of Oly, gone.  Her team’s grief for her loss, for her pain, their grief over the impact this will have on the rest of their season.  How I know that is beyond me, but it was obvious.

I think I’m a nervous hugger.  I hugged everyone Saturday before the bout.  I hugged a few people before this scrimmage.  I hugged everyone after…  I couldn’t leave until I had hugged a DRD girl, so I asked Bijou which one I could hug (knowing that Juno, who I hugged twice last night, is not a hugger, and not wanting to offend any of the others.)  She said they were all cool so I hugged like six DRD girls.  It was nice.  I felt way better after, too.


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    I was completely freaked out when I got home and telling my roommate about her leg. He was like please sit down, you are getting really flushed.

    You played really great defense when we went out together. It was so great that at one point I was about to pat you on the back when I realized oh shit, you can’t stop and give accolades! You are still playing!

    When we got back to the bench, someone said our pack waterfalled well. I felt like the Contenders were all listening during the feedback session on Monday and intentionally incorporated it into our game play (until Muffin broke her leg).

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