It’s the thought that counts.

“Its just one of those days
When you don’t wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sux
You don’t really know why
But you want justify
Rippin’ someone’s head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It’s just one of those days!!”

Yep.  That about sums it up.  Really stressful shitty day at work.  I’m thinking I’m stressed already or it wouldn’t have been so bad?  But it was pretty bad…  I dunno.  I held in the tears the other day and they came pouring out today.  I didn’t shut up until I full on wailed (at work.)  It sucked.  Mostly no one noticed.  Just my friend Matthew.  He teaches Chinese.  So sweet.

I have a ticket (by myself) to see 39 Steps tomorrow night at school… the school play runs tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday.  I want to go…  but I don’t think I can go tomorrow.  I’m so… upset with work… I just don’t know if it will be good for me.  I’m prolly being dramatic/making excuses.  I dunno.  I’m just not really looking forward to it.

Breakfast and lunch, as… Sunny?  Poi?  pointed out were quite healthy.  But by the end of the day, I’d just had it.  I wanted comfort food.  And the fried chicken at King Soopers had smelled so good on Tuesday…  with mashed potatoes… and gravy…  So I called Tim when I was leaving school, fully expecting him to offer to go pick up Fried Chicken Friday (I’ll explain that later…)  When I expressed my “healthy” concern he first suggested Chinese, which I pointed out was as bad as fried chicken, so he suggested Sushi.  I love sushi. Anyway, when I got home from school, Tim had a glass of wine, a fire, and a blanket waiting for me.  I love my husband.  Then he bought me sushi.  We didn’t get brown rice, but frankly: I just don’t care.  It wasn’t mashed potatoes.  It wasn’t fried chicken.  It was fish and rice and sure some mayo and spices and wasabi and soy sauce etc.  And I’m drinking tonight.  As much as I want.  I want to stay true to TBT b/c I think it has so far really improved my derby, and I have a bout Saturday so I want to put good stuff into my body, but I fucking hit the wall today. I lost it.  I need to get my shit together before Saturday, and that is gonna require some adult grape juice tonight.

In other news…  this sweet boy at my school and I were chatting the other day.  He’s in AP Jewelry.  I was wearing my pearls, he complimented them, and I told him how much I wanted a pearl ring to go with my (2 pairs of ) earrings, (3) necklaces, and bracelet.  His mother had a lonely pearl, and he made me a ring.  So sweet.  Not quite par for Shane Company, but…  one of the nicest things a student has ever done for me.  I do love the kids.  I do love working in a school.  It’s the BS that gets me.  That’s why the thing about the play kills me so much.  I want to go, as student asked me to, I want to see her, I want to see it, it’s a comedy.  But… I have no date, and I just.  Ugh.  The idea of more time at school right now makes me a little nauseous frankly.

Anyway, a pic of me and my fancy new pearl ring (and my “grape juice”):

Two quick asides that focus on the positive:

  • The nicest thing a student has ever done for me…  Cody Barday.  I had him in “seminar” (homeroom) for three years.  I said his name at graduation.  He saw me in tears in the hallway one day.  He and his girlfriend went to Dave & Buster’s that night, and they used their tickets to get me a Darth Vader figurine that speaks when you press a button or bump it.  Because he saw me sad that day.  🙂  The ring may top it, but that Nate (the boy who made it) is sweet and would do that for anyone.  Cody was a lil rougher around the edges, and did something nice for me because he saw me upset…
  • Fried Chicken Fridays.  When Denver had a Latino radio station, I used to listen to it.  One day, they were talking about how some TV channel was having a Latino Hour, and had given it some racially charged name.  The (latino) DJ ruminated on the fact that they never did that with blacks. (I apologize now for any political incorrectness.)  Then, the DJ listed off titles for black comedy hours, one for each day of the week.  I was laughing so hard I forgot them all, except the last two, when I forced myself to pay attention.  Fried Chicken Friday, and Slap a Ho Saturday.  So, Tim and I often have Fried Chicken Fridays…  usually on Tuesdays or Wednesdays, though.  😉  (Here’s a video with a similar story: Malt Liquor Monday)
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