Well. It could have been worse, I guess.

Oi.  So I woke up at 7:45 am to the puppy howling at me from outside my bedroom door, which immediately alerted me to several things.

  1. Tim had left for tennis practice
  2. He had not taken Reilly on a walk
  3. I was not going to be making it to Spin Class despite it being day 1 of TBT.

Therefore, as I staggered awake, I decided to take Reilly on a nice long 4-6 mile roll on the flat trail just outside the Meadows followed by an intense workout with my wii active.  I immediately began getting dressed.  Before I put my pants on, I wanted to put my fitbit on my panties (where I keep it so I won’t lose it like last time.)  I could not find it.  I looked in my bedroom.  I looked in my bathroom.  I shamelessly toured my house sans pants looking everywhere, then again, for my fitbit.  It was not to be found.  After 45 mins or so, to Reilly’s incessant nagging, I finally put on a pair of shorts and decided to forego the roll in favor of retracing my steps from last night.

You see, Tim and I had our Fantasy Football draft last night, at a friend’s house, less than a mile away.  As we were walking, and searching (Reilly was quite helpful, by sniffing everything in sight.)  I replayed the events of the evening.  I worry about the fitbit, so I pay attention to it.  I decided I had not left it at my friend’s house because every time I went the the restroom, I had checked to ensure it had been safely stowed.  And it could not have come out while walking home because I had on jeans and would have felt it fall out my pant leg, and because I would have realized it was missing when I got home.  I went to bed with a clear conscious…  and a vague recollection of setting it somewhere while changing before bed formed in my memory.  I set it somewhere unconventional, telling myself it would be fine and right where I had left it in the morning…but where had I left it?

After a mile or two walk (I couldn’t tell you how long since I’ve lost my fitbit!) and a sojourn at the dog park, Reilly and I returned home, and searched yet again.  The fitbit was not to be found.  Alas.

To sooth my disappointment, I made myself a toasted bagel, half with cream cheese, half with butter.  (I fucking love butter.)  Then I lay forlornly and read for a while.  Then, still sad, I made myself a grilled cheese sammich with cream cheese and cheddar cheese, but I left out the butter (bread toasts fine w/o it) and I did use wheat!  Then I read some more, then I fell asleep.  Then I woke up and Tim made me take him to his man fantasy football draft.  (They drink a lot so I had to drop him off and will go pick him up in a few hours.  He will be trashed. He promised to drive/pick me up from somewhere–I’m thinking after party, right?  We’ll see how that goes.  I don’t anticipate it will end well for me.)

Anyway, then I went to the grocery store for some odds and ends and all the crap to make Mango Habanero Hot Sauce.  Fuck yeah!  It’ll clear your colon right out!  I jammed on a Pink Lady apple and a Luna Bar while getting things prepped.  Then I made the sauce.  Mango my ass.  It’s liquid fire-in-your-hole.  Maybe I will call it that.  If you don’t know, I can food.  Also, if you fuck up canning, it can kill you.  (Don’t believe me, check it out: http://www.cdc.gov/nczved/divisions/dfbmd/diseases/botulism/)   Canning Kills.  Anyway, since I don’t want my fire-in-your-hole sauce to kill people, I scored some pH test strips from a chemistry teacher at school (how fucking bad assed and nerdy cool is that?  Fuck yeah!)

So I made my sauce, and dipped the litmus paper into some….  nothing.  I tried again… nothing.  What.  The. Fuck?  I tried it with lemon juice.  Nothing.  Vinegar. Nothing.  Is this shit fucked up?  Is it not working or some bull shit?  I took a strip to the bathroom and sprayed some Febreze Sports Extreme (for my skate boots) on it.  Instant blue.  Shit was basic.  Apparently, the level of acidity of my sauce, the vinegar, and the lemon juice, was such that it appeared the tan paper wasn’t turning colors.  I need to be in the yellow/orange range, not the yellow/green range if I don’t want to kill people. I tried again.  Definitely no green, maybe leaning a bit toward orange…  I’ll take it.  Canned Fire-In-Your-Hole Sauce,  success.  Woot woot.

So now, I’m like hungry or should eat or something, right?  Definitely need a drink.  I open a bottle of wine, (I know, bottles, right?  wtf?  I’m on a bottle kick.  Surely it will be short lived.)  It’s Gnarly Head Pinot Noir and I’m gonna drink the whole bottle…  ah shit I gotta get Tim still…  Fuck.  Maybe… half the bottle…  3/4?   We’ll see.  And I’ve clearly had my carbs for the day, so I cut up a cucumber from the garden (delicious) and opened a can of 3 Bean Salad.  I know, weird right?  Whatever.  I’m gonna poop well in the morning.  Fiber yeah!

Anyway, so I sat down with my “dinner” and curiously opened up the fitbit website.  (I need to start logging my food on there for TBT) Low and behold, the fitbit synced this morning around 10 am.  W.T.F.  I walked the sync station around my bedroom trying to get it to sync this morning so I could find it.  Sometimes it’s a delayed reaction.  AND: yesterdays stats are accurate.  It shows my midnight hustle home through the swamp with my husband, etc.  And apparently at 8am I went up a set of stairs… I’m wondering if I slept in it and it came off and it is lost somewhere in my bed…  or if Reilly ate it.  (She didn’t.)  So.  Hopefully it will turn up.

*edit—8:25 PM I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FOUND IT.  whut now, beooootches?

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2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    fridabeater said,

    Woah. This was your first day of TBT??


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